The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
Eleanor Roosevelt

So, the future – what does it hold? Truthfully? I don’t know – not yet anyhow.

I’ve been waiting for some paternalistic, authoritive being to decree what my future should be; to tell me what it is I’ll ‘be’ when I grow up. This is ironic as I have a tendancy to do the opposite of what anyone tells me to do.

I’ve never really been encouraged in any one direction in life and have needed to feel everything out for myself – it’s got to a point now though that enough time has passed and experience has been lived through to deal me a ‘sort of plan’. There’s a problem though – the ‘sort of plan’ has been presented to me in jigsaw-puzzle format – I have all the pieces but no clue as to how they fit together or what it is I’m required to create!

I think I’ve got the corner pieces sussed;

• photography
• writing
• community
• recognition

That last one - recognition - I realise it sounds a bit self-centred. I was going to change it for something else, something that didn’t sound quite so me, me, me – but, well, you can’t cheat on this sort of thing, can you.

Yes, I yearn for a slap on the back and a well-done now and again (I would imagine we all do). To be honest I don’t remember it happening very often during my formative years which is probably why I hanker for it so much now. I’m not so self-centred though that I think I deserve any of this without doing something to earn it. I’m happy to work hard – I love a challenge!

So that’s what I’m up to; sorting all my puzzle pieces. Slipping the obvious, easy pieces into place; the photography, the blogging – wondering how I’m going to deal with that big blue area of sky (my day job) and seeing if I can’t work out what the heck the big picture is supposed to be!

For the first time in my life, ever, I am going to make a plan!

Do you have a plan?

Photos taken with my Polaroid SX-70 (always part of the plan) and 600 film.
(Recognise that bottom one)?

When I visited the ‘end of the world’ last week (aka Dungeness – which I have written about here) one place I knew about already and was very keen to visit was the late Derek Jarman’s Prospect Cottage.

Anyone living in this environment is going to have a challenge on their hands, so you’d have to be very determined and creative to establish such a beautiful garden in this wilderness. It’s a little neglected and over-grown now, but you can still see the shapes and structures and some of the hardier plants are still thriving. I would love to have seen it in its heyday, I think I might try and get hold of his book  about the project and his life (there’s also this very moving article by Howard Sooley, who took the photos for the book in The Guardian).

It was also very exciting to be shooting with my Polaroid SX-70 again and using proper 600 film- I don’t have much of this wonderful stuff left now but this little cottage was definitely worth a shot or two – so pretty.

There is raised wooden text on the side of the cottage depicting selected lines from John Donne’s poem, The Sun Rising:

BUSY old fool, unruly Sun,
Why dost thou thus,
Through windows, and through curtains, call on us ?
Must to thy motions lovers’ seasons run ?
Saucy pedantic wretch, go chide
Late school-boys and sour prentices,
Go tell court-huntsmen that the king will ride,
Call country ants to harvest offices ;
Love, all alike, no season knows nor clime,
Nor hours, days, months, which are the rags of time.

Thou, Sun, art half as happy as we,
In that the world’s contracted thus ;
Thine age asks ease, and since thy duties be
To warm the world, that’s done in warming us.
Shine here to us, and thou art everywhere ;
This bed thy center is, these walls thy sphere.

It occurred to be the other day that I hadn’t used my beloved Polaroid SX-70 for ages. I do find it takes the best photos when there’s LOTS of light – almost too much light, so what with it being dark and wintry and all, conditions aren’t exactly ideal.  However, whilst these aren’t amaze-ulous or anything, it was very satisfying to hear and feel that click and whirr again as the photo popped out.

On the other hand, just look at these photos – they’re from the 100 Days of Winter flickr group and I’m totally gobsmacked at how amazing they are and how great they look together. I feel so inspired – winter is awesome!

1. To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake, it is necessary to stand out in the cold., 2. firewood., 3. afternoon snack., 4. just before sundown, 5. Weird clouds, 6. dreaming of play time, 7. winter captured, 8. Winter has come, 9. decorating closeup, 10. christmas cocoa, 11. njosnavelin, 12. 17/365., 13. Sunday love, 14. Winter flower, 15. Picture Inspiration | Week Thirty Nine, 16. Skating in Somerset House, London, 17. snow boots for sure, 18. a little snow art, 19. Untitled, 20. 1210036 fog, 21. saturday afternoon, 22. oak, 23. 2011-11-25 – Foggy Forest under the Rainbow Sky, 24. Fortnum and Masons #5, 25. Starbucks.

Polaroid SX-70 + 600 film +ND filter

All seasons have there good and bad points, don’t they – here’s how I’m feeling about autumn so far…

Good things:

• leaves (they look amazing at this time of year – makes you realise how many trees there are all around you, even in the city)
• conkers/chestnuts/cob nuts… basically all types of nut
• the colour orange
• woolly jumpers
• bonfire night
• hats, scarves and mittens
• sitting in front of open fire

Not so good things:

• leaves (specifically the ones that fall all over the garden and in the gutters – the rest can stay)
• GMT (the clocks went forward an hour last weekend)
• the sun setting before 4.30 in the afternoon
• it’s chilly!
• gas bills
• rain and fog… although we get that all year round in this country

How about you – how are you enjoying autumn*?

*or whatever the season is in your part of the world :)

There was a little shop in Hawkeshead, Cumbria and these boys were set outside. They’re brand new; made in China.

At school we were encouraged to call them golli-dollies (this was after the ritual burning of Enid Blyton and her Noddy books featuring golliwogs. Maybe it was just the books – I was young and impressionable).

Personally, I think if you have an old doll that you have had for years then that’s one thing, but it’s the 21st century now and there are so many clever and exciting toy and doll creators out there, so why hark back to something that might upset your customers? That’s not very kind or nice and I am sure we can come up with something better. Or am I being too sensitive?

[Photo taken with Polaroid SX-70 and 600 edgecut film + ND filter]